December 29, 2012

National Get on the Scales Day

"Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy." - Unknown

It's National Get on the Scales Day!
(Please note: I don't know if this is actually a "real" food holiday, but I'm celebrating it anyway!)

The only scales I'm getting on today are the ones on my fuzzy fish pillow. Getting on a real scale? That's not happening.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Not in a week from now.

Ask me again in February after I've had some time to do a salt water flush and extensive juice cleanse to rid my body of the damage I did to it all year long (Almanac of Eats, I love you, I do!, but eating all of the national food holidays has done some serious damage to my thighs... batwings... neck folds...)

Who came up with this evil day? I'm on a holiday high right now, and what I don't need is to be dragged back down off from it when I see that I've gained more weight than I thought I did. At 5'2" every five pounds I gain or lose is incredibly noticeable on me. I know my jeans are tight. I know I'm rocking a muffin top. I don't need a scale to tell me that I have over-enjoyed the gastronomical aspects to my Christmas... Thanksgiving...Halloween seasons.

Personally, I don't think that people should catapult themselves into some crazy diet and exercise routine immediately after the holidays anyway. Going "cold turkey" from a high-calorie diet to a restricted one just sets us up for failure. I think gradually weening ourselves off holiday foods back into normal diets makes much more sense.

Besides, New Year's Eve is two days away. And I've got Chinese food and a couple bottles of champagne with my name on 'em to polish off. And the next day? Bloody Mary's and leftovers. I don't have time for "dieting" right now.

I'd like to wish you a Happy National "Get on the Scales" Day, but I feel for most of us it's going to be an unhappy day. So... from my hips to yours...

Happy National Get on the Scales Day!


Or wait a couple weeks months.